So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
