Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
