I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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