just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
