My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
