Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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