grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
