I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
