Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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