how hairy? two words: wookie tits
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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