Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
