you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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