You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
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