he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize