She's JV to your varsity
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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