Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
