Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
