thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
