Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
