I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
