Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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