I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
