Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
