She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
