sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
