last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
