oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
