How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
