i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think your dad took our porno
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
