I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
