I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
