i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
