just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
