Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
