Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
