We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
