Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
