You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
