awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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