Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
