I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
