so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
