Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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