He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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