I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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