oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
