I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
