chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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