So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
