apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
