I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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