At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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