I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
