this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My cat gives me a boner
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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