the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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