I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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