Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
